I have been back in the cassock recently to carry out one of the priestly roles of praying people to heaven, of giving loved ones a ‘good send off’, of commending them to Jesus.
It isn’t something that I often write about, you won’t find me posting selfies with coffins on the socials (I mean who would?), I don’t promote this as a service I offer, and perhaps you are wondering why. It isn’t because I don’t enjoy taking funerals, I find them a truly fulfilling part of being an ordained minister and love that aspect of parish ministry, especially when someone would come to me afterwards and ask if they would Christen their baby, the deceased’s great grandchild, or to conduct their marriage…
The thing is, these connections belong to parish ministry, and although I have the Bishop’s permission and licence to officiate, I no longer have a parish. Sometimes I am called in because a parish is ‘in vacancy’, (their former vicar has moved on, or retired, and there isn’t a local vicar to fulfil the role) and when I am able I will always say ‘yes’. Sometimes I am asked to return to take the service of someone who I’d had a special connection with, but then I have to say ‘no’.
Because funerals, along with weddings and Christenings, are such special times they are also important times for the new vicar to be able to build those relationships with their parish. It is no longer mine, I no longer have the ‘cure of souls’, that baton has been passed on. Sometimes though, it is possible for the current and former vicar to collaborate, to share in the taking of a special service, or a vicar will step to one side and graciously invite me to fulfil the priestly role.
She does a good funeral!
I did consider, briefly, becoming a celebrant when my parochial ministry came to an end. It has often been said that I ‘do a good funeral’ (I may have that inscribed on my tombstone), but I would have had to choose between doing so and honouring my ordination in the Church of England.
Lately I have been privileged to conduct the funeral of my former churchwarden, an amazing woman I had become friends with, and also the funeral of the wife of someone whose funeral I had taken nine years ago, and whose family remembered me. I am so very grateful to have been invited. It is always an honour to conduct a funeral, but these have felt extra special as I have sensed a ‘coming home’. Not in the sense of place, the parishes which I served in for over a decade and where my name is listed on the board of rectors as the first woman, but in a priestly sense.
I love the different elements that currently fill my ‘portfolio’, however sometimes I feel as if I am winging it, as if I am acting a role, fearful that the mask might slip. When I don the dog collar though, I am embodying who I have been called to be, I am home.
Priest without Portfolio 